2020、12、6練筆作業(yè)點(diǎn)評(píng)意見(jiàn)<br data-filtered="filtered">格式:5言仄起式<br data-filtered="filtered">上聯(lián):⊙仄⊙平仄; <br data-filtered="filtered">下聯(lián):⊙平⊙仄平。<br data-filtered="filtered">特別提示:<br data-filtered="filtered">1、⊙表示可平可仄;<br data-filtered="filtered">2、遵守《聯(lián)律通則》。<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">【總評(píng)】出句為5字仄起式,關(guān)鍵節(jié)點(diǎn)為第2、4和第5字,我們平常所說(shuō)的,“1、3、5不論,2、4、6分明”是針對(duì)7字對(duì)聯(lián)而言,在5言中,就是“1、3不論,2、4分明”,而第5個(gè)字必論是因?yàn)榈?字為尾字,根據(jù)《聯(lián)律通則》規(guī)定,上聯(lián)尾字仄收,下聯(lián)尾字平收。<br data-filtered="filtered">學(xué)習(xí)不討論對(duì)聯(lián)的孤平問(wèn)題。<br data-filtered="filtered">關(guān)于意境,自古以來(lái)都是“仁者見(jiàn)仁,智者見(jiàn)智”,“各花入各眼”,我個(gè)人更喜歡上、下聯(lián)并駕齊驅(qū)、舉案齊眉,要么歌頌祖國(guó)弘揚(yáng)正能量,要么快意人生反映幸福生活,要么低吟淺唱愛(ài)恨情仇,不主張上、下聯(lián)呈一高一低、一揚(yáng)一抑、一褒一貶之勢(shì),意見(jiàn)僅供參考。<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">優(yōu)秀對(duì)句:<br data-filtered="filtered">1、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:曲佳好放歌。(橘子小姐)<br data-filtered="filtered">2、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:禪深好煮茶。(老六)<br data-filtered="filtered">3、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:興瀾高引朋。(老六)<br data-filtered="filtered">4、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情閑獨(dú)賞霞。(楊理勤)<br data-filtered="filtered">5、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情深頻舉杯。(楊圣科)<br data-filtered="filtered">6、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情閑細(xì)品茶。(清水)<br data-filtered="filtered">7、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:心寬好放歌。(王香蘭)<br data-filtered="filtered">8、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:肴香盡放歌。(潘仁清)<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">其他對(duì)句<br data-filtered="filtered">1、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:詞歡急踏歌。(橘子小姐)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,急,可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">2、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:才高多斗詩(shī)。(六六)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,多,可升華,還可以更張揚(yáng)些。<br data-filtered="filtered">3、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:曲終人散場(chǎng)。(潘松云)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,對(duì)句意境弱了,角度可再調(diào)整。<br data-filtered="filtered">4、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情深多夢(mèng)君。(劉恩慧)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,意真,不錯(cuò)。<br data-filtered="filtered">5、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情深夢(mèng)亦春。(歐陽(yáng))<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,長(zhǎng)呼/夢(mèng)亦,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">6、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:相思苦斷腸。(澤恩)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】意雅/相思,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">7、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:相思一片歌。(劉恩慧)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】意雅/相思,長(zhǎng)呼/一片,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">8、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情真淚滿巾。(楊英根)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,前2與后3接得突兀,后3可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">9、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:酣夢(mèng)醉憶鄉(xiāng)。(澤恩)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,不錯(cuò),詞性結(jié)構(gòu)有進(jìn)步,酣夢(mèng)改為夢(mèng)酣,就非常完美了。<br data-filtered="filtered">10、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:銀足快上肴。(潘仁清)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律意順,不錯(cuò),下次邀請(qǐng)我們一起唄,反正“銀足不差錢”嘛。<br data-filtered="filtered">11、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:思君輕撫琴。(楊理勤)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】意雅/思君,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">12、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:笙缺短嘆息。(潘仁清)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,后3還可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">13、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:酒高短嘆愁。(潘仁清)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,后3還可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">14、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情緣比翼飛。(歐陽(yáng))<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,意雅/情緣,長(zhǎng)呼/比翼,酒/飛,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">15、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:興高擊筑歌。(楚雯)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律,長(zhǎng)呼/擊筑,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">16、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:緣<font color="#ed2308">淺</font>短嘆愁。(康婷)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】淺,出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">17、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情真更<font color="#ed2308">相</font>隨。(楊英根)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】相,平,出律。呼酒/相隨,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">18、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:氣<font color="#ed2308">壯</font>每作詩(shī)。(李麗)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】壯,仄,出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">19、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情閑總<font color="#ed2308">吆</font>朋。(潘仁清)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】吆,平,出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">20、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:朝<font color="#ed2308">日</font>直奔東。(康婷)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】日,仄,出律,意雅/朝日,酒/東,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">21、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:晨<font color="#ed2308">曉</font>走馬歡。(康婷)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】曉,仄,出律,長(zhǎng)呼/走馬,酒/歡,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">22、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼<font color="#ed2308">酒</font>;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:<font color="#ed2308">酒</font>高雅對(duì)詩(shī)。(潘仁清)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】不規(guī)則重“酒”字。<br data-filtered="filtered">23、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:情深婉<font color="#ed2308">如</font>歌。(澤恩)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】如,平,出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">24、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼灑;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:醉興樂(lè)<font color="#ed2308">吟</font>詩(shī)。(楊小榮)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】吟,平,出律,意雅/醉興,詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">25、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句:意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒;(吳海燕)<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句:心<font color="#ed2308">靜</font>若止水。 (楊小榮)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】靜,仄,出律,長(zhǎng)/若,對(duì)仗略欠。<br data-filtered="filtered">
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