2020、12、6練筆作業點評意見<br data-filtered="filtered">格式：5言仄起式<br data-filtered="filtered">上聯：⊙仄⊙平仄； <br data-filtered="filtered">下聯：⊙平⊙仄平。<br data-filtered="filtered">特別提示：<br data-filtered="filtered">1、⊙表示可平可仄；<br data-filtered="filtered">2、遵守《聯律通則》。<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">【總評】出句為5字仄起式，關鍵節點為第2、4和第5字，我們平常所說的，“1、3、5不論，2、4、6分明”是針對7字對聯而言，在5言中，就是“1、3不論，2、4分明”，而第5個字必論是因為第5字為尾字，根據《聯律通則》規定，上聯尾字仄收，下聯尾字平收。<br data-filtered="filtered">學習不討論對聯的孤平問題。<br data-filtered="filtered">關于意境，自古以來都是“仁者見仁，智者見智”，“各花入各眼”，我個人更喜歡上、下聯并駕齊驅、舉案齊眉，要么歌頌祖國弘揚正能量，要么快意人生反映幸福生活，要么低吟淺唱愛恨情仇，不主張上、下聯呈一高一低、一揚一抑、一褒一貶之勢，意見僅供參考。<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">優秀對句：<br data-filtered="filtered">1、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：曲佳好放歌。（橘子小姐）<br data-filtered="filtered">2、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：禪深好煮茶。（老六）<br data-filtered="filtered">3、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：興瀾高引朋。（老六）<br data-filtered="filtered">4、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情閑獨賞霞。（楊理勤）<br data-filtered="filtered">5、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情深頻舉杯。（楊圣科）<br data-filtered="filtered">6、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情閑細品茶。（清水）<br data-filtered="filtered">7、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：心寬好放歌。（王香蘭）<br data-filtered="filtered">8、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：肴香盡放歌。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">其他對句<br data-filtered="filtered">1、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：詞歡急踏歌。（橘子小姐）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，急，可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">2、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：才高多斗詩。（六六）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，多，可升華，還可以更張揚些。<br data-filtered="filtered">3、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：曲終人散場。（潘松云）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，對句意境弱了，角度可再調整。<br data-filtered="filtered">4、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情深多夢君。（劉恩慧）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，意真，不錯。<br data-filtered="filtered">5、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情深夢亦春。（歐陽）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，長呼/夢亦，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">6、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：相思苦斷腸。（澤恩）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】意雅/相思，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">7、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：相思一片歌。（劉恩慧）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】意雅/相思，長呼/一片，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">8、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情真淚滿巾。（楊英根）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，前2與后3接得突兀，后3可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">9、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：酣夢醉憶鄉。（澤恩）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，不錯，詞性結構有進步，酣夢改為夢酣，就非常完美了。<br data-filtered="filtered">10、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：銀足快上肴。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律意順，不錯，下次邀請我們一起唄，反正“銀足不差錢”嘛。<br data-filtered="filtered">11、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：思君輕撫琴。（楊理勤）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】意雅/思君，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">12、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：笙缺短嘆息。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，后3還可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">13、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：酒高短嘆愁。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，后3還可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">14、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情緣比翼飛。（歐陽）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，意雅/情緣，長呼/比翼，酒/飛，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">15、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：興高擊筑歌。（楚雯）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】合律，長呼/擊筑，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">16、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：緣<font color="#ed2308">淺</font>短嘆愁。（康婷）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】淺，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">17、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情真更<font color="#ed2308">相</font>隨。（楊英根）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】相，平，出律。呼酒/相隨，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">18、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：氣<font color="#ed2308">壯</font>每作詩。（李麗）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】壯，仄，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">19、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情閑總<font color="#ed2308">吆</font>朋。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】吆，平，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">20、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：朝<font color="#ed2308">日</font>直奔東。（康婷）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】日，仄，出律，意雅/朝日，酒/東，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">21、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：晨<font color="#ed2308">曉</font>走馬歡。（康婷）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】曉，仄，出律，長呼/走馬，酒/歡，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">22、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼<font color="#ed2308">酒</font>；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：<font color="#ed2308">酒</font>高雅對詩。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】不規則重“酒”字。<br data-filtered="filtered">23、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：情深婉<font color="#ed2308">如</font>歌。（澤恩）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】如，平，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">24、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼灑；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：醉興樂<font color="#ed2308">吟</font>詩。（楊小榮）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】吟，平，出律，意雅/醉興，詞性結構不對。<br data-filtered="filtered">25、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對句：心<font color="#ed2308">靜</font>若止水。 (楊小榮)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評】靜，仄，出律，長/若,對仗略欠。<br data-filtered="filtered">
主站蜘蛛池模板：
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