2020、12、6練筆作業(yè)點(diǎn)評(píng)意見(jiàn)<br data-filtered="filtered">格式：5言仄起式<br data-filtered="filtered">上聯(lián)：⊙仄⊙平仄； <br data-filtered="filtered">下聯(lián)：⊙平⊙仄平。<br data-filtered="filtered">特別提示：<br data-filtered="filtered">1、⊙表示可平可仄；<br data-filtered="filtered">2、遵守《聯(lián)律通則》。<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">【總評(píng)】出句為5字仄起式，關(guān)鍵節(jié)點(diǎn)為第2、4和第5字，我們平常所說(shuō)的，“1、3、5不論，2、4、6分明”是針對(duì)7字對(duì)聯(lián)而言，在5言中，就是“1、3不論，2、4分明”，而第5個(gè)字必論是因?yàn)榈?字為尾字，根據(jù)《聯(lián)律通則》規(guī)定，上聯(lián)尾字仄收，下聯(lián)尾字平收。<br data-filtered="filtered">學(xué)習(xí)不討論對(duì)聯(lián)的孤平問(wèn)題。<br data-filtered="filtered">關(guān)于意境，自古以來(lái)都是“仁者見(jiàn)仁，智者見(jiàn)智”，“各花入各眼”，我個(gè)人更喜歡上、下聯(lián)并駕齊驅(qū)、舉案齊眉，要么歌頌祖國(guó)弘揚(yáng)正能量，要么快意人生反映幸福生活，要么低吟淺唱愛(ài)恨情仇，不主張上、下聯(lián)呈一高一低、一揚(yáng)一抑、一褒一貶之勢(shì)，意見(jiàn)僅供參考。<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">優(yōu)秀對(duì)句：<br data-filtered="filtered">1、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：曲佳好放歌。（橘子小姐）<br data-filtered="filtered">2、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：禪深好煮茶。（老六）<br data-filtered="filtered">3、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：興瀾高引朋。（老六）<br data-filtered="filtered">4、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情閑獨(dú)賞霞。（楊理勤）<br data-filtered="filtered">5、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情深頻舉杯。（楊圣科）<br data-filtered="filtered">6、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情閑細(xì)品茶。（清水）<br data-filtered="filtered">7、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：心寬好放歌。（王香蘭）<br data-filtered="filtered">8、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：肴香盡放歌。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered"><br data-filtered="filtered">其他對(duì)句<br data-filtered="filtered">1、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：詞歡急踏歌。（橘子小姐）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，急，可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">2、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：才高多斗詩(shī)。（六六）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，多，可升華，還可以更張揚(yáng)些。<br data-filtered="filtered">3、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：曲終人散場(chǎng)。（潘松云）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，對(duì)句意境弱了，角度可再調(diào)整。<br data-filtered="filtered">4、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情深多夢(mèng)君。（劉恩慧）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，意真，不錯(cuò)。<br data-filtered="filtered">5、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情深夢(mèng)亦春。（歐陽(yáng)）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，長(zhǎng)呼/夢(mèng)亦，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">6、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：相思苦斷腸。（澤恩）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】意雅/相思，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">7、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：相思一片歌。（劉恩慧）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】意雅/相思，長(zhǎng)呼/一片，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">8、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情真淚滿巾。（楊英根）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，前2與后3接得突兀，后3可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">9、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：酣夢(mèng)醉憶鄉(xiāng)。（澤恩）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，不錯(cuò)，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)有進(jìn)步，酣夢(mèng)改為夢(mèng)酣，就非常完美了。<br data-filtered="filtered">10、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：銀足快上肴。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律意順，不錯(cuò)，下次邀請(qǐng)我們一起唄，反正“銀足不差錢”嘛。<br data-filtered="filtered">11、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：思君輕撫琴。（楊理勤）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】意雅/思君，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">12、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：笙缺短嘆息。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，后3還可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">13、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：酒高短嘆愁。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，后3還可升華。<br data-filtered="filtered">14、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情緣比翼飛。（歐陽(yáng)）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，意雅/情緣，長(zhǎng)呼/比翼，酒/飛，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">15、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：興高擊筑歌。（楚雯）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】合律，長(zhǎng)呼/擊筑，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">16、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：緣<font color="#ed2308">淺</font>短嘆愁。（康婷）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】淺，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">17、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情真更<font color="#ed2308">相</font>隨。（楊英根）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】相，平，出律。呼酒/相隨，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">18、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：氣<font color="#ed2308">壯</font>每作詩(shī)。（李麗）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】壯，仄，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">19、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情閑總<font color="#ed2308">吆</font>朋。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】吆，平，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">20、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：朝<font color="#ed2308">日</font>直奔東。（康婷）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】日，仄，出律，意雅/朝日，酒/東，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">21、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：晨<font color="#ed2308">曉</font>走馬歡。（康婷）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】曉，仄，出律，長(zhǎng)呼/走馬，酒/歡，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">22、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼<font color="#ed2308">酒</font>；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：<font color="#ed2308">酒</font>高雅對(duì)詩(shī)。（潘仁清）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】不規(guī)則重“酒”字。<br data-filtered="filtered">23、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：情深婉<font color="#ed2308">如</font>歌。（澤恩）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】如，平，出律。<br data-filtered="filtered">24、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼灑；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：醉興樂(lè)<font color="#ed2308">吟</font>詩(shī)。（楊小榮）<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】吟，平，出律，意雅/醉興，詞性結(jié)構(gòu)不對(duì)。<br data-filtered="filtered">25、<br data-filtered="filtered">出句：意雅長(zhǎng)呼酒；（吳海燕）<br data-filtered="filtered">對(duì)句：心<font color="#ed2308">靜</font>若止水。 (楊小榮)<br data-filtered="filtered">【評(píng)】靜，仄，出律，長(zhǎng)/若,對(duì)仗略欠。<br data-filtered="filtered">
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